Changing pace

Well, I seemed to have started this blog off on the wrong foot. Looking back upon the last (and first) three posts, I see that my language has been on the rather fruity side and my reflections upon other people a tad negative. I have decided to try and change the way in which I post and the manner in that I do so. I think it must have something to do with a lack of caffeine and the fact that I have just had to write a fucking English essay.

One thing that I really need to get off my chest is this general feeling of boredom and animosity towards College that I have at present. I mean, every day I can’t be fucking arsed to go in. We only have two weeks left, but to me, two weeks seems like an eternity right now. I want to move out of this routine and go somewhere new. It’s not that I dislike the people here or even the area I live in (although it is a bit of a shit hole) I just want something new. I don’t know what it is yet, but I need to go and live a life of my own and do something that I want to do. I want to go to Uni. I want to have my own place. I want to start afresh.

This sudden change of pace (see what I did there?) has only grown greater by the more and more I think about doing my exams. Maybe I don’t really want to move away, but it is in fact nervous energies I have towards my final exams. I think I am scared, more than anything, of failing my exams and not being able to go to Uni. I mean, I think I can get into Uni quite easily and I am almost definately going, but if I get a certain amount of UCAS points then I can actually get a scholarship that would lift this huge financial burden off my shoulders. I don’t currently have a job and I don’t particularly want one. I don’t want to have to depend upon others either and it means that I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I worked for about 8 months last year and spent all of that money on learning to drive and getting my own car. I owe my Dad a shitload of money I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pay him back (don’t tell him though).

Right now, what I want is to win the lottery. Or maybe just £5,000 on a scratchcard.

Shit, £100 would be nice.

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~ by robertftaylor on May 12, 2008.

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