Taking the surprise out of a Kinder Egg Surprise


The arrogance that some people have in this world amazes me sometimes. Normally I can deal with it when somebody possesses so much of a certain essence that I, if I were Simon Cowell, would dub the ‘C Factor’. You can make a guess about what this C stands for, but if you can’t, the aforementioned celebrity is one of them. Well, I decided to go to my local Petrol Station that is only a 5 minute walk away and has been there as long as I can remember. I was only popping in to get some phone credit, a bottle of Pepsi and some Monster Munch. What? That’s just the kind of guy I am. I may have smelly breath but you need not talk to me face to face as I now have £20 of phone credit to burn. I digress. There was some woman in front of me who looked a little bit suspect and looked like a good contender to get through to the second round on the C Factor. You know the sort; overly chatty, too familiar with the person at the till and dressed like a tramp. And not the lovable homeless type.

Now, she had paid for some petrol and bought a Kinder Egg Surprise for her child who I soon learnt was left in the car in the forecourt. How? Well, as I was paying for my little banquet I heard some shrill yuppie voice that soon clicked as belonging to the woman with the Kinder Egg. I quickly turned to see what was the problem. In her hands she had the foil of the Kinder Egg and the toy. No sign of the chocolate though. She went on to complain that her ‘nightmare’ of a spoilt bastard child was screaming in the back of her car because there wasn’t an Ice Age toy in the Kinder Egg. She carried on saying that they shouldn’t advertise them with the Ice Age logo if you aren’t garunteed to get an Ice Age toy. The man behind the till was already as tired of her as I was and just gave her another one for free. I’m sorry, but the whole point of a Kinder Egg is that you don’t know what you’re getting. Hence the ‘surprise’. What kind of surprise would it be if there wasn’t a surprise?

I thought this story was well and truly finished, but as I left I saw the woman approach another member of staff on the forecourt with the foil and toy in her hands from the second egg and was still asking for another one. No need to worry about this one folks, I think she’s well and truly made it into the live shows on the C Factor. What I find funniest about this whole thing is that the child probably doesn’t give a flying shit about Ice Age and just wants Mummy Dearest to keep getting him chocolate and toys with the feeble excuse of ‘not getting the one he wants’. Kid, I’ve got one thing to say to you. You’ve got balls to be messing around with that monstrosity that you call ‘Mum’. I feel for ya, I really do.


~ by robertftaylor on July 19, 2009.

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