Back again. D&D 5e Campaign!

I’m back! Well, I haven’t actually gone anywhere but this blog has been dead for a long, long time. I’m still living in Québec and am now teaching English. Anyway, enough about that, the reason this blog has started up again is as a way to re-cap my brand new DnD campaign that myself and three other friends started 2 weeks ago.


In our gang of explorers we have myself (Osborn, Halfling Monk), James (Outis, Human Fighter) and Sam (Constantine, Gnome Wizard). None of us have ever played DnD 5e seriously before. We did try playing once before with just two explorers but it didn’t go very well. We got ambushed and then lost interest in playing once the fighting was over. This time, however, we have fully committed to character voices and making this campaign as fun as we can. Loz is our DM and he’s been doing a great job considering it’s his very first time DM’ing. Although, he does seem to only have three voices for NPCs. Gruff, cockney Londoner, “Northener” and Female voice 1. His vocal talents are going to be worked very hard throughout our adventures I think.

The Adventure Begins

The journey begins in a trade caravan heading to the Elvish city of Cyntheria. The goods in this particular caravan? Gems? Exotic spices? Gold? No. Potatoes. The Elvish city relies heavily upon potatoes for its manufacture of alcohol. Recently there was a strange disappearance of the town’s potato supply with many caravans going missing along this very route. Their patron, Jimmy No Shoes had warned the group of highway robberies and kidnappings as his lifetime friend Howard the Coward had gone missing whilst on a potato shipment. Tensions were running high in the caravan as our three heroes had only just met in a local tavern before being assigned a driver named Hugo to transport their expensive goods. Tension between the crew and Hugo was growing.

“So, ermm, Hugo, when are we gonna get to Syntheria?” Osborn asked.

“Soon.” snapped Hugo.

“Ok. No need to be rude. we’ve all been stuck in here with Outis’ gas as well. If anything it’s worse back here!”

Hugo has had enough and closes the hatch between himself and the caravan.

“What got on his goat?” Osborn addresses the rest of the caravan. “He’s been grumpy this whole time. No wonder he’s just a caravan driver.”

“I can still hear you through this grate.”

“…what was even the point…?”

“He’s been doing a great job so far, Osborn. Just leave him be. I can’t wait to get off this caravan, though. I hear they have some great Dragon Chess sets in Syntheria.” says Constantine.

“Yeah, well he’d better hurry up or I’ll slit his throat and drive this damn thing myself. I have land proficiency don’t ya know.” interjects Outis.

The caravan comes to a sudden halt, throwing both Constantine and Osborn off of their seats and onto the caravan floor. Hugo slides open the grate.

“There’s a man in a purple robe standing in the middle of the road about 100ft up ahead. One of you guys wanna go and see what he wants? Besides, I need to clear some of these caravans out of the road.”

“Clear some caravans out of the road?” Constantine addresses Hugo whilst readying a spell to summon his mighty 1hp Illusory owl, Stinky. “Go Stinky, see what’s happening.”

A bright, blue, translucent illusory barn owl flies out of Constantine’s hands and out the back of the caravan, passing through Outis’ shoulder before becoming fully solid once its summon has finished. Stinky flies up above the caravan to see abandoned and looted caravans strewn across the path. Hugo descends from atop the caravan and begins dragging a caravan that sits directly in front of their own.

“Stinky is telling me that there is indeed an old man up ahead. He appears to be unarmed. Who fancies seeing what he wants?”

“Fuck’s sake. Guess I’ll do it. Hope this old fuck has some gold at least.” Outis says as he hops out of the caravan.

Osborn and Constantine look at each other and Osborn says “Has some gold…? What do you think he’s gonna do?”

Outis hops out of the caravan with his hand firmly gripping his sword. He doesn’t intend on hurting this old man, but if he suspects he’s rich he may just well attack him. Before Outis could get 50ft in front of the man, the man shouts:

“That’s strange. I thought you, Osborn and Constantine would all come out. Oh well. Outis, I have something I need to show you. You must find Ilyana in Evansford. She’ll know what to do.”

The old man holds out his hands in which appears to be three coloured crystals. One is a deep, rich red. The next is a royal purple. The final crystal is a dark, inviting green colour.

“I have these crys…UGH!”

A spear comes flying from the side of the road. It makes contact with the old man and passes through the man’s skull as if it were made of jelly (a food-stuff that does not exist in this world).

“What the–!”

As Outis cries out in shock, the three crystals hit the floor and roll towards Outis’ feet. Outis grabs the crystals thinking he’s found a small fortune. The gems then break free of Outis’ hand and begin humming a low song. They glow and shoot up into the air much like something that flies up into the air would. Stinky dodges the crystals before they come flying down with tremendous speed as if fueled by something not of this world. The red gem flies towards Outis and lodges itself in the back of his right hand. The other two crystals smash through the front of the caravan where Constantine and Osborn remain. The purple gem finds its owner in Osborn and the green gem in Constantine. Our three heroes find themselves in an ambush. An old man has died and mysterious crystals have embedded themselves in our heroes’ hands. Whatever will they do?

“Bullywugs! On the east side of the road!” Constantine shouts.

Outis sees two Bullyugs readying spears by the roadside. Outis charges the two, slicing one of the Bullywugs in half down the middle with his longsword. The second Bullywug raises a spear and throws it in Outis’ direction, missing by a hair.

“We better get out there and protect Hugo and help Outis!” Constantine says to Osborn.

“Sure thing.”

The two small heroes exit the caravan and look around for Hugo. They see a figure in the distance that appears to be running with some speed away from the caravan, followed only by a trail of kicked up dust and obscenities.

“Fucking Jimmy No Shoes. I’m not dying over potatoes. No siree. Definitely not to some damn Bullywugs!”

“Better go and help Outis then!”

Outis is still looked in combat with the Bullywug when he notices another Bullywug running towards a small cave to the south. As Outis was distracted by the rogue Bullywug, his sparring partner strikes Outis in the bicep causing a small scratch. Outis quickly responds with his longsword but it isn’t enough to kill the Bullywug. A bolt of frost rips through the Bullywug, creating a hole but freezing the exposed entrails. Outis can see Constantine through the hole with his hands held out in front of him emanating frozen wisps of air.  Outis and Osborn high-five each other through the newly formed hole whilst Constantine rolls his eyes.


Oof. That was a lot longer than I expected. We actually got through a lot more than this so hopefully I’ll have it all written up later on this week. I’ve really enjoyed playing DnD so far and hope that this comes across in my adventure re-caps. Let me know what you think and I’ll have some more of the campaign up later this week!

~ by robertftaylor on November 14, 2016.

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